Nervous

I am nervous. I am nervous about starting a blog.  I am nervous that I am going to send all of my deep thoughts and my not-so-deep thoughts out in to the cosmic Internet universe...and that it's all going to be stupid and that no one will read it. I am worried that I won't have anything interesting to say or rather that I won't have time to think of anything interesting to say.  Still, I am doing it...and at the very least maybe this blog will be for me a journal of the stuff that's happening at this stage of my life that otherwise I would have likely never. ever. written down.

I always sweat the small stuff (the above paragraph is case in point...).  I am a Wife, Mom, and Professional...but not always in that order.  I am organized (but not as organized as I should be) and anal (which is why I should be more organized).  I am outgoing, love people, and love to have fun. I haven't had too many traumatic experiences...but enough to not take life's joys for granted. 

To some extent, I feel like I am still growing up.  I am still learning about who I want to be.  And I am learning everyday about what type of wife and mother I want to be.  I am learning about priorities, what's important, what's not...to let go of what I do not have control over.  I am learning to have faith.  At the risk of sounding completely cheesy and probably even more cliche than I already do...I feel as though I am going through some kind of personal transformation.  These are the questions that I ask myself over and over again: What do you want the rest of your life to look like?  Who do you want to be?  What kind of mother do you want to be?  What kind of wife?  What kind of friend? And in some way, I guess I am hoping that this blog will help me through my journey.