A really great quote...

In other news...I also love this...

The Things I Never Want to Forget

There are certain things that my son does and says that I hope to remember forever.  Since it would be impossible for me to remember everything on my own, this blog post will always help me remember the little things that I never want to forget...

The way he says "I do" instead of "Yes"...
The way he says "Mom" in his adult 2 year old voice...
The way he smells after a bath...
The way he asks for my shoulder when he's sleepy and it's almost time for bed...
The feeling of rocking him to sleep...that quiet time at the end of the day that I cherish...
How he has to have his sippy, his blanket, and his Mouck on the couch with him every night...
How he calls Mickey Mouse "Mouck"...
How he says "Nucky" instead of "Yucky"...
How he hates boogers...and will look into my nose and say "Boogers...Nucky!"
How he says "ABC's" and loves to hear the alphabet song over and over again...
How when he wants to take a bath, he chants "Tubby! Tubby! while waving is arm...
How he calls a train Choo-Choo and says "Beep-Beep" when he wants to get by....
How he always has the hiccups!  He had them all time in the womb as well...it's kind of his thing!
His tight little ringlet curls...the ones that look like curly fries...
His cute little smile, his cute little laugh, his sad little tears when he doesn't get his way...
How looks sitting in his corner (time - out) all frustrated and mad...
How he says "Uppy!, Uppy!"
How he says "Library Books", worships reading, and gets super excited for Story Time...
How he loves to play markers...nonstop...
How every morning when I go to get him out of this crib he says "Mama...BUTT!"...

I could go on and on...I have never known a love like this...I remember being pregnant and my friend telling me that there was nothing like being a Mom.  That it was hard and tiring...but still just the best job ever.  She was so right.  I am so grateful for my son and feel so lucky to be his Mom.  And I wish that I could remember every single moment...I don't want to forget any of it.  Not ever.

Top Ten {Tuesday}

As a new blogger, I am learning more and more about the blogging world every day...and I have to tell you that I am loving it!  A friend of mine sent me the link to a "Linky Party" which I had never heard of...but once I started reading about them, I was hooked.  When I read some of the Top Ten Tuesday Posts on Oh Amanda...I just had to participate!  I am very excited about linking up with all of these great bloggers and I hope to make some new friends in the blogging community.

I have to be honest though, there is one other, and rather selfish reason why participating in the Top Ten Tuesday linky party appealed to me.  I am going on vacation in a few days with my husband and we are leaving our 20 month old little boy at home.  Did hear I a resounding "GASP"?  Oh, I really hope not because I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown as it is.  I guess you could say that I need a little perspective.  Or better yet, I need a reason to put some logical and rational thoughts around our trip to replace the catastrophic irrational ones that have filled my mind for the last month.  My reason?  Top Ten Tuesday!  So, if you haven't already guessed it, my Top Ten Tuesday is going to be: The Top Ten Reasons Why It's Okay To Go On Vacation Without Your Child.  I cringed just typing that. 

Must. Stay. Positive. 

Here we go:

1. Me Time - We all need a little time for ourselves.  Time to recuperate and relax.  Time when the only person you have to worry about is you.  There are no dishes to deal with, no house to clean, no diapers to change, no dogs to take out.  Just you with time to revel in the wonderful person you are...we all deserve this!  Life is too short to not give yourself a break for all you do every single day.  And you know what?  We all deserve this time without feeling guilty...because 90% (and that's a conservative estimate) of the time a mother's life revolves around taking care of others.  It is okay to take care of yourself from time to time too.

2. Husband Time - When you are married, working full time, and a mother...your marriage is different.  When my husband and I got married...it was just us and the dogs.  We could travel, we could go out to dinner every night if we wanted, we could do our own thing but still have time for each other.  These days we can still do a lot of the same stuff...but it's different.  Date nights don't come around so often...and neither does one on one time.  Time to really enjoy one and other.  Time to act like newlyweds and take care of only one another.  Time to focus solely on our relationship.  Time to be silly, to talk, to cuddle, to hold hands.  Time for all the little stuff that falls through the cracks during the busy days and nights that make up our week. 

3. Rest - Everyone needs to be able to get a good nights sleep once in awhile.  The prospect of having several nights in a row to go to bed when I want and to wake up when I want feels so indulgent.  I'm not even sure I know how to sleep through the night without waking up at least once but I am about to find out!

4. Tan - Everyone looks better when their tan...just sayin'...

5. Vitamin D - It's really good for us.  We all need to be out in the sun so that we can be sure to get our Vitamin D.  Vitamin D may protect against osteporosis, heart disease, and some cancers.  Not to mention sunlight's other hidden benefits—like protecting against depression, insomnia, and an overactive immune system.  For the sake of my health I shall go on vacation. : )

6.  Patience - I hate to admit this, but at times I get impatient ( I know I can't be the only one...).  I am doing so much all the time.  Going from a full day at work to a full night at home wears on me and I find myself not having as much patience as I would like.  I think a break away from it all is needed from time to time so that while I am working and being a Mom, I am doing the best possible job that I can.  I want to be a patient, kind mother and wife, not a crazed, mean one.  Vacation promotes kindness. 

7.  Gratitude - I find that sometimes getting away and actually having the time to be present in the moment typically offers up feelings of love and gratitude for my life.  I feel so fortunate to have my husband and a healthy baby boy.  It's in the quietness of life that I feel profound feelings of gratitude.

8.  Ocean & Sand - There is nothing like being on the ocean and feeling the sand in your toes.  It's one of the best feelings.  I love to play in the waves with my husband like we are little kids splashing and dunking each other.  It's one of our favorite little vacation traditions and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

9.  Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder - I don't know if this one really applies because I love my son so much that if my heart grows any fonder, I fear it may burst.  Nonetheless, I know I will be counting down the minutes until I return home to my favorite job in the world...being a Mom.

And finally...

10. Because EVERYTHING is going to be fine.  It is.  Plain and simple.  No need to worry...everything is taken care of and my boy will be in extremely capable hands.  So...I can go and it's going to be fine.  Before I know it, I will be home.  Time flies so I shouldn't waste it worrying. 

I will do my best (please note the name of my blog)...

Bzzzzz....

I haven't mentioned this before but I am a bzzagent.  If you don't know what that is click here because it's great to be a bzzagent.   Basically, how it works is you get to try different products and services (most for free but for some there is a fee) and then you "bzzz" about them on your facebook page,  you tweet about them, you blog, you talk to friends and family, etc.  You don't have to like the product. In fact, BzzAgent encourages all of it's agents to be completely honest and provide candid feedback. 

The campaign that I am doing now is called Smarterer.  Smarterer is platform created to test people on literally any digital, social, and technical skill one can think of.  Simply put, it's a series of tests that you can take on line.   You can see how savy you are with facebook, Twitter, BzzAgent, Microsoft Office...just to name a few.   I have taken a few of the tests: BzzAgent, Facebook, Excel...I considered myself pretty smart in all three of these areas...but these tests weren't so easy.  Stressful is actually the word I would use.  There is a timer at the top of the screen that seriously stresses me out.   Sometimes, I would know the answer...but I would see that I was running out of time so I would just skim the the answer choices for something that looked familiar so that I could answer before the time ran out.  Come to think of it, I have no idea of what even happens if the time were to run out.  The problem is, is that many times the answers are sometimes a few sentences long, which really doesn't sound like it should be a problem but in the heat of the moment it totally is.  Also, I am a super competitve person so getting questions wrong is completely unacceptable...which I did over and over again.  Luckily, Smarterer repeats a lot of the questions that you got wrong so the more questions you answer, the more you learn.  This fun fact, is my favorite part!  I actually became smarterer in the areas that I tested myself on...and ended up scoring pretty high!  All in all, I recommend giving Smarterer a try...it's stressful but addictive and fun all at once!  And it's all in the name of learning some random but useful information.  Who could ask for more?

Boobs

I have big boobs. 

There I said it.  I have come face to face with it. 

Up until today, I have been living in denial about my breast size.  I have been wearing bras that are too small because it is difficult for me to face the fact that my boobs are huge.  Today, at lunch I went to a speciality bra shop near my work to get a fitted for a new bra.  I have lost some weight and I'm not pregnant or nursing...so it seemed like a good time to go.  And I suppose in the back of my mind I was thinking that my boobs were likely smaller because, afterall, I have lost some weight and I'm not pregnant or nursing.  Ha!  That was so not the case. Well...I guess it was a little but not really.  Let me explain.

The last time I went to this store to buy a bra was when I was nursing and I weighted a little bit more than I do now. I walked out with a wonderful nursing bra that I really liked.  It was a size...I can't even believe I am about to type this...34H.   Your eyes aren't playing tricks on you...you just read that my bra size WAS a 34H. At the time, I was blown away by the hugeness of this bra but I figured it was just because I was nursing and that once I stoppped my boobs would be even smaller than before I got pregnant (I had more than one friend tell me this happened to them...I am no longer friends with these people).  So, today I was actually excited to go get a new bra.  I thought I would be a 34D or a 34DD at the most.  I mean unless your Pamela Lee Anderson...who really has boobs bigger than that??  Turns out me!  Today I walked out with a very pretty bra that makes my boobs look great.  The bra size?  34G.  Really?? Is this normal?  Do normal people actually wear this size bra?  The answer is apparently: yes!  Because I do and I am normal.  COME ON. 

I came back to work and preceeded to share this news with my entire office (please note that my office is made up of four women with exception to one man - who is my boss and shares way too much information with me about his sex life). The office feedback was that women pay for boobs like mine.  My reply: "You clearly haven't seen me naked."  They make a good point though.  I guess if I had perky, lovely 34G's...it would be a different story...but I don't.  I have saggy 34G's that were filled and emptied on a regular basis for one full year.  That's a tough job and afterwards...well...one's boobs just aren't the same. 

Nonetheless, today I am turning over a new leaf.  Instead of being all upset about the size of my new bra, I am going to put a positive spin on it.  I am going to think about this differently.  First of all, I am lucky to have boobs.  There are women out there who have lost their boobs because of cancer.  This thought makes me so grateful for my big, saggy, healthy boobs. Secondly, my boobs are amazing because they produced enough milk for me to feed my baby for a full year.  That is insane...I mean really?  I should never be allowed to compain about my boobs again after that.  Thirdly, I have nice cleavage in the new bra and it actually (ironically) makes my boobs look smaller.  So see...things aren't so bad on this side of the fence.

Me and my 34G's are feeling better already!

Should I or Shouldn't I...That Is The Question

In everyone's life there comes a time when you really have to consider the next step...for me these decisions are always exciting but also a little scary as well.  When highschool was coming to an end, I had to decide where to go to college.  After college, I had to decide where to live.  When I was 28, I had to decide about getting married and buying a house.  Then came deciding when was the right time to have a baby.  All of these very important decisions and in all of these cases I appear to not have done half bad with my decision making.  And now...it's decision time again folks...I am beginning to think about having another baby.  When I think about this there is a large part of me that screams a joyful "YES!!! DO IT" but there is also a part of me that much more quietly reminds me that maybe, just maybe our family is perfect the way it is.  I remind myself that I am easily overwhelmed, that I like time to myself, that I have enough on my plate with being a wife, a mom, and working full time.  I know logically...that there are plenty of reasons not to have another child...but still in my heart of hearts I also know that its what I want more than anything.  The joy and happiness that my son brings me is like nothing I have every known and I can't imagine not experiencing all of it all over again.

So, in my decision making, I have consulted with my husband, since he obviously plays a pretty big role in the whole baby making process.  When I did this, he asked me to really think about what our lives would look like with another child.  What our schedules would be, who would do what, how we would manage, etc. And honestly, it really caught me offguard because, quite frankly, I have no clue what our lives will look like.  I don't even know where to start.  So, I told him just that...but he insists that if I sit down and give it some thought I will come up with something.  What to do, what to do...but sit down and think about it.  I was telling my friend about this and she suggested I draw a picture of a family four for him.  Clever.  I came up with the idea of handing him a blank sheet of paper and explaining that it's impossible to predict what our lives will look like.  Or I could challenge myself to sit down and really think it though because it does kind of make sense and it will likely help in the decision making process.  I hate when he's right.  Arrgggg.

I am going to be working on this assignment of sorts over the next couple weeks...so we shall see what I come up with.  I do love to over analyze things and I do worry about all of the "what if's" so one would think that doing this sort of exercise would be something I would enjoy.  Unfortunately, that's so not the case.  When I want to do something, I want to do it.  I typically don't want to sit and make sure it's the right thing to do...because if it's not I probably don't care...because I want to do it.  Does that make any sense at all?

Nonetheless, I will approach this with an open mind and as an opportunity for personal growth...wish me luck!

Nervous

I am nervous. I am nervous about starting a blog.  I am nervous that I am going to send all of my deep thoughts and my not-so-deep thoughts out in to the cosmic Internet universe...and that it's all going to be stupid and that no one will read it. I am worried that I won't have anything interesting to say or rather that I won't have time to think of anything interesting to say.  Still, I am doing it...and at the very least maybe this blog will be for me a journal of the stuff that's happening at this stage of my life that otherwise I would have likely never. ever. written down.

I always sweat the small stuff (the above paragraph is case in point...).  I am a Wife, Mom, and Professional...but not always in that order.  I am organized (but not as organized as I should be) and anal (which is why I should be more organized).  I am outgoing, love people, and love to have fun. I haven't had too many traumatic experiences...but enough to not take life's joys for granted. 

To some extent, I feel like I am still growing up.  I am still learning about who I want to be.  And I am learning everyday about what type of wife and mother I want to be.  I am learning about priorities, what's important, what's not...to let go of what I do not have control over.  I am learning to have faith.  At the risk of sounding completely cheesy and probably even more cliche than I already do...I feel as though I am going through some kind of personal transformation.  These are the questions that I ask myself over and over again: What do you want the rest of your life to look like?  Who do you want to be?  What kind of mother do you want to be?  What kind of wife?  What kind of friend? And in some way, I guess I am hoping that this blog will help me through my journey.